The (Wo)Man in the Mirror

I've been doing a lot of pondering on the 'Reunion' over these last few days; probably due to having to sleep so much to recover, for crying out loud in the sink as my Dad used to say, and the fact that I'm tormenting myself with the way I appear in those reunion photographs.
I would hazard a guess that the reason we had so many more guys show up than gals is due to the above most succinct message. I'll tell you that I was most decidedly the 'heaviest' woman there and I AM damn sure the judgements were being made.
We have never passed high school.
It would be nice to believe that we do not judge the friends we have because of their weight but, sadly, we do. I do know one of the women told me I was 'brave' to go to this thing. Wow. Now I admit that I did consider not going just because of this exact reason but then it was my whole " who really cares what they think " mentality that IS completely Artistic. You'd only ever paint the 'safe' stuff (and many do) for that reason alone. And this other part of me is yelling out: "Hey, shallow people, I ORGANIZED this awesome event, I'm a HUGELY TALENTED Artist and I ROCK" back-of-the-mind rant going on the whole time because, truth to tell, I DO give a crap about how I'm perceived.
Ah yes.....my own worst enemy.
This whole thing does make me want to paint a series based on body image though.....hmmmmm.....

Wasn't That A Party....

Wowzers what a weekend. All I would like to say to those of you who staunchly insist that they would never go to a reunion is: GO. At one point in all the merriment I looked around and could only see absolute joy on every one's faces. And, being as I along with one other school chum were the organizers, THAT made my weekend right there. Apparently I am requested to organize a 'group' birthday party in 2 years when we all turn 60.
Ok then. Let's add 'party planner' to the resume shall we?
Honestly, I was on such an adrenalin high from it all I never needed a drink.
Mind you we did have a couple of 'fraught' moments with declined debit cards when we went to pay for the Friday night venue just before heading home to 'gussy up' for the festivities which ended up making us have to drive to the bank and get a cashier's cheque and then retrace our steps and of course that made us abysmally late and we had to panic call another school chum to 'meet and greet' but hey-ho - it all worked out. The weather was superb. Friendships renewed. Friendships discovered.
LOTS of grey hair (mostly on the men) Some surprises visually. (me)
Now the photos are being sent around and uploaded to Utube etc.
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Why, in all that is Kodak, am I SO unphotogenic?!?
I seem to be the only one with the goofy face pose. The hair looks wa-a-a-ay too extreme beside all those grey and blondy heads. I have grown 3 chins somehow.
And I appear to be the size of a smallish dinosaur.
Sigh.
Bloody sigh.
No wonder the old boyfriend removed himself from my vicinity every chance he got.
Ah well.....comic relief yet again.
It is astounding to me, being that I'm so visually attuned, that I CANNOT work my own canvas. Personally I'm wishing there was a sort of 'white-out' for this girl.
Anywhataboreyouareway, shall we move along....?
There was so much good feeling and so many thank yous and hugs from everyone, that most of the image issues really pale.
...............would I do it again?
You betcha!
Painting is : "The Joyful Reunion" by Jan Massys. I like this because it really points out that reunions haven't much changed in a couple of hundred years. You still have the 'clowns', you still have the 'beauty', you still have the 'touchy/feely' going on. Some age well, some not so much. But you are all having one HELL-o of a party.

Reinvention

Tomorrow I will be travelling 6.5 hrs to go back to the city of my birth and to meet up with people I haven't seen in 40 years.
The High School Reunion is on this weekend.
And I can't wait.
Also you may have noticed the 'Artist's photo' has changed.
 I've reinvented myself.
It was a truly spur of the moment happening....I walked into a salon in Tuff city that I'd never ever been in before and gave the absolutely creative genius of a stylist 'carte blanche' to work on me.
Here's what went in the door:

<Kinda washed out and decidedly aging woman canvas there....

                                 Here's what walked out:>

 Now is that a 'holey smokey' moment or what?

There you go. I guess every once in a while you just have to take a blind leap of  'what the hell' into Life.

It also occurs to me that this is the process of Art as well. You are constantly 'reinventing' your style and your technique and your subject matter. Sometimes it is not what you hoped for   but  sometimes....well, the freeking heavens open up to you.

So on Friday night as I step forward to greet the changed canvas of all those 'kids' I graduated with so long ago, I'm going to be thinking of how the canvas of life has worked on them. The brushstrokes of time leaves it's texture on us all. And isn't life a constant reinvention of ourselves too? From child to young adult to aging soul, what a rich rich palette we have to work with!

Never be afraid to leap.

(ps...I've gotten some superbly awesome Art Framed glasses to wear too!)

(ppss....Accepted into the Sidney Art Show!!)

(pppsss...."It Was 40 Years Ago Today....

The PAINTING

                                          REVELATION  Acrylic with Gold Leaf 26 X 48

....almost forgot the last painting....boy oh boyo. Really like this one. We shall see, we shall see.....

Liar, Liar; Pants On Fire

Ok....here I am again.
I'm a GEMINI...what can I say...hot and cold about EVERYTHING!
I think it's the 'evil twin' side taking over when I say or do something that doesn't necessarily pan out....sigh. We all have our crosses to bear.
I truly am my own worst enemy. YipYipYip....
Let's proceed, shall we?
Back from a 3 day down island jaunt to my beloved friends home that provides me a base of operations and safe haven to lay my burden down....(cue music..preferably Aretha Franklin). Delivered the 2 pieces for the first round in the juried show process....always rife with anxiety for me because the aforementioned 'evil twin' whispers black thoughts continuously...gah! (picture artist with hands around throat) Also a LOT of running around into Victoria proper. Now, usually, driving around in the city makes my knuckles clench spasmodically on my steering wheel. I may have mentioned that driving is not the fav of activities for moi. However, I think a major breakthrough happened as I was pretty relaxed this time. I navigated downtown traffic and parking with a decided 'savoir faire' and was even switching up lanes and all that 'lookee mee confidence' that certainly has not been a part of the personal canvas for many a year. Smug looks all round. It has me wondering about what actually makes the 'switch' flip, so to speak. Experience? Perhaps. Inner growth? Well, maybe. Age? Isn't that just experience of a sort? Who can say....all I know is I felt very good when it occurred to me that driving was actually not a task of Herculean proportions anymore.
Now I need that feeling to carry through to my painting.....indeed.
I will hear on Monday via the electronic highway if I'm in or out. All I can say is that when I picked up my work, it was in a back room facing the wall. Not exactly inspiring thoughts of 'ooo goody' currently.
Sometimes it's just a long long long road to walk being an artist.
Anywhatalifeway, we do have an extraordinary event on the horizon!
Our 40th year High School Reunion. FOURty years! Mother of all old children! I've been helping to organize this and I'm really pumped to see all these 'kids' from long ago coming to the event. I've spent WAY too much money on outfits etc (....really, am I going to wear this stuff to shop at the CoOp) and I'm definately stressed about weight (woman, oh woman...) and I've got the 'hair' business going on and so forth ad nauseam.
Heaven preserve me....I'm going to be fratzed by the time I go over next Thursday. But, then again, lots of everyone else is as old as me. That's the thing about these sorts of events. You are all sharing the arrival on the planet year and the journey thus far. And you will look at each other with the eyes of remember when.
So! To recap:
We will be writing the Blog still.
We can now drive relatively relaxed.
We buy too many outfits.
We think too much.

The painting: "Liar" by Julian Kimmings. I really think this captures my 'Evil Twin'. That 'foxy' slyness. Great stuff.

Silver Linings

Yes I've been absent for some time. Well, the proverbial 'storm cloud' of life has been over my arty wee head and I've just found coming here and blithering on.....insert bummer word of choice.
Computer is gasping in it's death throes too, and it takes me 5 to 10 minutes to upload pics right now. Seriously, I've got a lot of patience but this is getting beyond the pale when I can go and wash my dishes or make muffins or add a couple of touch-ups to a painting while waiting for the page to be ready.
I'd paint my fingernails except that is such wasted effort when you're an artist - 5 minutes into a painting and they're toast. Goodbye 45 $.....
Anywhatareyoutryingtosayway, I'm going to shut the Blog down for now. Going to deal with the myriad 'little showers' happening and just maybe I'll re'invent' this blog in a different way.
Not too much feedback anyhow and , yeah yeah, I get that most folks just lurk but I think I only have @ 3 people checking in anywhatasadstatisticway......
So, to you most faithful, a very big cyber thanks.....I will see you again, somehow, someway!
Painting: Untitled Pastel by Larry Moore. Isn't that fantastic? I admire this painting big time.