Oh Vincent I understand. I really do. What a weary-ing life being an Artist is. You put your soul, your vision on canvas but it seems no one can see. You struggle and struggle to keep body and soul together. You debase yourself to just have food on the table; to pay the bills, the neverending bills. You give away your best work for the means to survive. You will paint souless dreck for the same reason. It's always more money needed for supplies. The people ignore what you've created or tell you patronizing little things that shrivel you up. You want to love, you want to just lay your head down on a comforting shoulder, but it's never there. Or in this desperate need to just feel a human touch once in a while, you choose unwisely and, yet again, become a fool for it. It is so endless. It is often just too much to bare any longer. You just need to paint; cannot anyone see or understand that and give you some recognition? So, yes Vincent, I understand why you got tired. Why it was beyond endurance any longer. But you are missed for what may have come later.
As for me, even though I am feeling tired-of-it-all today, the sun has come out and is casting a magnificent light across the distant mountains. And I am captured by thinking of how to paint that. My friends are helping me to find some new inspiration. And I know that
this is the journey and it will be recognized. All is battle when you choose to live your life creating.
The painting: "Wheatfield With Crows" attributed to being Vincent's last painting before he took his life. Wrongly so, however. There is documented evidence that he painted 2 other paintings before his untimely demise. I think that folks pick this one because of the somewhat 'ominous' atmosphere that Van Gogh captured.
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