Monday, December 5, 2011

All Is NOT Merry and Bright

Oh Rumballs, it's Christmas time.......and I am noticing an alarming tendency in myself towards the above character. Sadly.
What has happened to make this 'used-to-be-thoroughly-enjoyed' time of year so well, fraught with grumpy behavior by yours truly?
Being single.
At least I think so. And maybe the way too many events and obligated duties there seem to be piling up right now. I was a right Bee-hatch at the Gala. I am ashamed of myself.
Anywewillhavecoalinourstockingway, I've done it to myself by being the organizer/planner/head honcho so the fault lies squarely upon this artistic head. (just say "No.") (ye-ah...that singular function seems to be missing in my programming)
But I do find being 'just me' exceedingly forlorn at this particular junction of the year. Not that I am without invitations and extended gatherings to participate in - far from it! And with my crazy blended family it is a great celebration of getting together.
But! But but but.....
I always feel as though I'm on the periferal edge of it all; slightly out-of-step; decidedly uncomfortable and waiting until I can slip away to be alone again > the thing that makes all this angst happen.
What a pastiche of behavior. "Paging Dr. Freud!"
 (A pastiche is a literary or other artistic genre or technique that is a "hodge-podge" ... in this sense is 'a medley of various ingredients; a hotchpotch, farrago, jumble.')
I have a horrifying vision of being the eccentric old crank Emily Carr became. ( I shall wheel Jams about in an old baby Jams would put up with that!....and scowl at everyone. )
But, oh boy, do I ever understand why she did.

The image is, of course, the talented Mr. Jim Carey (Canadian!) as the Grinch.
"You're a mean one, Mr. la la, la la la......Stink, Stank, Stunk!"
(All I can remember of that song....)

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