Ah, you're an ARTIST....*SNEER*................

Took my files to the accountant the other day....this is never my favorite thing to do and not because it's TAX time or having to hand over your hard earned moola to the government so that they can continue to cut all Art programs and beef up the Military- but I digress - no, I find this a particularly unpleasant chore because, invariably, the accountant treats me with such obvious disregard.
And I am wondering why. I pay my taxes; I might not make very much but I'm very up front about what I earn and I keep very tidy and straightforward files - as opposed to getting it all higgledy-piggely in a shoebox - and I pride myself on doing so.
So, why should the moment I mention that I'm an "ARTIST", does the face and demeanor of said accountant change to something like a bad smell is present? Am I less worthy than any n'er-do-well living a dissolute life on welfare? I cannot fathom the reaction I have continuously received every year; oh and to make it clear, we seem to have a revolving line up of different accountants coming out here to the wild west coast.
It makes me wonder if these accountants get some strange class on "ARTISTS-How to deal with the most louche citizens of all."
I wonder if Leonardo Da Vinci was alive today whether he'd get the same reception?
I ALSO wonder what these folks hang on their walls....old accounting tapes from Bill Gates? P'robly so........

Born To Be Wi-i-i-ld

In my endless (and completely enjoyable yet procrastinating) trolling of the Internet for the unusual, bizarre, and strange, I found this gem. It brought back the memory of my one and only (rebel gal that I am) occasion of being expelled from High School.

Now, I'm one of those strange critters that actually liked school; well except for Math as I most decidedly have a right hand brain - I knew that me and Math were doomed from the get-go as I cheated on a Gr. 1 test (and the boy I cheated from ratted me out -the swine!); anyway, I did like school mainly because by the time High School whipped around I got to choose my subjects and loaded the plate with Art, Drawing, Graphic Design, Creative Writing and the like thereby ensuring graduating on the Honor Roll (True Story!)

So, yes, and we continue: by the time Gr. 10 was happening - 1969 and that should give you a clue - I was completely "Hippy-Arty" and made my own strange outfits and jewellery. In 1969 (I mention again) the fashion of the day was for LARGE and flamboyant accessories. I made my own earrings. And they were LARGE and flamboyant.

The particular day of the 'expulsion', I wore my latest creation to school. I made these earrings of note from 2 old wooden curtain rings, wildy painted and glossed to a deep shine. They hung down to my shoulders.

Yessir, cool was my middle name.

As the day progressed, I garnered many admiring comments and glances...well, in my mind, anyway.

And then my Art teacher noticed them.

Now you would think an 'Art' teacher would encourage these creative endeavors but this was way back in the 'dinosaur' years of repressive education. ie: Do NOT buck the system. Do NOT be unique.

So he bent down (I'm short) and picked up my earrings from my shoulders and in a sneering voice said "I think that these are unacceptable in a school environment and you need to go home to rethink your choice."

I stared at him uncomprehendingly for a moment...'Go home?' 'For earrings?'.......'OK! Sure!'

...and left school for a leisurely day of going down to 4th Ave (THE hippy hangout in Vancouver) and fooling around.

Still wearing my earrings.

Didn't have any birds , sadly, that really would have been cool, man!

All You Need is Love......and a $ 4.95 card from Hallmark's

....chocolates work too!
Ah, Valentine's Day. A day of homage to "prove you love" someone. At the risk of sounding bitter - and since I'm not getting any 'tokens' considering I'm single - (and Jams lets these kind of things pass on by), I just might.
What has always struck me as somehow "cheesy" about this day, is how so many get manufactured items of love to give to their sig. other and how it happens only on this day. What about the rest of those 364 days? And if a card or box of choccies is the best way you have to express love of someone.....well, pathetic comes to mind.
I guess what I'm saying is that taking for granted that one person who stands beside you on this crazy journey for every day but one - and then only that day because it's expected - seems sad.
Also there is really a decided lack of creativity going on here.
So, in order to give some of you a helping hand from the creative juiciness of myself and not getting crazy like suggesting trips to foreign climes, may I suggest the following:
1. A picnic in some fantastic place.....like the park or the beach or the backseat of your car overlooking said fantastic spot (for inclement weather) and if putting together a picnic seems beyond your capabilities, trot on down to local eatery/deli and tell them you need help in this regard. Baring that and $ constraints, PB & J sammies with beer and cuddles at said locations works too. BUT! Don't get sloshed if you're driving.
2. Candles. LOTS of candles. Light them up in your bathroom, make a lot of bubbles in the tub, get some champagne and make sure big fluffy towels and a rug are there and I guarantee love vibes will flow! Good music playing a must.
3. Take a walk (slow leisurely) together. Preferably under big umbrella in rain and end up at a wee cafe (if it has fireplace score 10) where you can laugh and gaze at each other while reminiscing about the time/moments you've shared.
4. Go on a 'Mystery' tour. Everyone always has some part of city/town/hamlet they wished they could go to/ never been to locally. So take said 'other' on a surprise tour to said location (but it has to be theirs!) and play Christopher Columbus for a day - afternoon - whatever. And buy the goofiest trinket as memento of said discovery day.
Ok, that should get you started.
You can thank me later.

Hope the door don't slam you in the butt on your way out...human scum.

Just finished watching fantastic DVD from the Library (did I happen to mention I get my DVDs from there - over 5000 titles to choose from-3 weeks-for free!!) Titled "Life After People" from the History channel. A documentary (or is it a 'mock'-umentary if it's supposition?) about what could conceivably happen if all humanity disappeared from the Earth. Now that sounds a bit depressing except it was strangely uplifting. Because Nature would just take it all back. Baring the first 50 or so years of sorting out the animal situation, ie: dogs getting back to their origins ( unfortunately your basic little lap dog is doomed-sorry Fifi) learning to hunt - cats are ok they already have that down - and all the other critters that would be moving back into abandoned cities which were their territories to begin with and etc as plant life reclaims the landscape - I found the idea that good old Mother Nature would heal all the unfathomable crap we humans have caused to our planet as comforting. The Oceans would revive and our air would clean and it would be healthy again. Buildings and super structures (bridges etc) would crumble as the materials used to construct them decayed. And trees would grow all over.
Yeah. A bit 'post apocalyptic Eden-ish'. Great computer graphics in this too.
It was interesting to ponder that we as a species have a time limit - vastly immortal though we believe we are.
However, do you know what we would leave as a lasting monument to our excistence? Not the pyramids, or books or any structures as time would take them all.......and this just underlines why maybe we need to go........plastic.
Yep. So think about it when you next have a coffee in that styrofoam cup from Starf*cks..oopsie, did I write that.....anyway, plastic never never never never (ok you catch my drift) decays.
Holy archeology, what a great legacy for humankind.
On the other hand, this bodes well for my paintings being around for some time to come!......Not that Leo Lion, Betty Bear or Lamont Lizard will care.

THINK BEFORE YOU FREAK

I'm not really sure what to title this little blather (I put the title up late into this) - I'm not even sure where I'm going with it ......however, I've been reconstructing a "Grey Whale" costume over the last few days. It's life size and fairly accurate too, so a 'big' job (ok, that was lame). I got this project as a result of the misuse by wearer/s of said costume during our Whale Festival here. That's a pretty major event in my area, with @ 10 days of various activities and events all surrounding the celebration of grey whales annual migration past our coast on their way to Alaska. The costume gets worn at these various events as "Knuckles" is the mascot. The people who actually own the costume lend it out to the Whale Festival with the stipulation that it gets cleaned at festival finish. What happened with that particular request was where all the problems ensued as the costume is built over a foam rubber core - NOT washable and the cleaners made an abysmal job of it. It was returned ripped, missing various pieces and, worse, the foam rubber was warped and completely messed up. Now baring the fact that you have to wonder what kind of 'professional' cleaners would do such a thing, what comes to my mind is the total lack of responsibility towards an item (expensive item) that has been generously loaned for the enhancement of the festival. I've also discovered that whoever wore it partied hearty in it as beer stains are all over the tongue (now there's a vision!) and for some unexplainable reason, there are red paint stains on it too. (I'm am seeing a large whale drinking beer and painting the town red as I write.....yep, another lame one....) What I've basically had to do, is, rip apart the costume, make new pattern pieces, reconstruct the warped foam, reinforce the ripped areas, remake 'barnacles' , and sew it all back together and as an added precaution I'm spraying the whole thing with silicon protective spray.

I guess what I'm trying to point out is how a mind works when dressed up. We all like to dress up; ok not all but most of us; and it's like becoming someone or something else and that feeling of freedom that comes along with taking on another 'self' kind of makes us go , well, crazy. It's like the chains are off from the usual constraints of decorum and add some booze into the mix, hoo boy! We gots trouble, baby! In some way, I completely understand the lure of wearing this fabulous costume and letting 'er rip but the other part of me - the one whose hands now ache from ripping vast miles of seams - wants to really 'whale' on the idiot/s who did this. (And again..lame. But the temptation!)

Mind you maybe I should thank them too as it's given me a good paying job!

I think when I return the finished and 'newly' reconstructed costume, I shall include a recommendation that "No Partying Allowed" tag needs to be applied.

Then again, this fix-up could turn into an 'whale of a time' for me. (Ah I can't resist...)

TOFINO FOOD AND WINE FESTIVAL POSTER

Out with the old - In with the New

TOP PHOTO -THE NEW

BOTTOM PHOTO -THE OLD

I've reinvented myself today. A new haircut - that's a major thing for me after many years of long hair and a decidedly new attitude to go along with it.
Why?
Well, a lot of this is because of what has been happening re my father and dealing with his failing health and decided journey of his end of days. A lot of things have been discovered by my brother and me over the last month in the handling of what the end of life is for your parent. We have also uncovered hidden secrets and feelings that were unknown to us. It is a strange way to grasp the realization you have lived in a world of secrecy and lies......but you can choose to be beaten down or rise above and I've decided on the latter.
So: The haircut has actualized in a most visible way this decision to take on a new viewpoint.
And I'm feeling pretty strong that now I'm shooting for the stars.
CAR PE DIEM!

....and I really like the added touch of the 'blue finger'